Lennier: It was the year of getting the hell out of here...
Zack: the year of clowns flying out of my butt...
G'Kar: the year it ceased to be fun and games.
Lyta: It was the year of funky contact lenses...
Vir: the year of great weight loss...
Marcus: the year of virginity...
Delenn: and the year of sex. Bone-shattering, space-warping sex.
Londo: It was a new season.
Franklin: It was the end of sobriety.
Ivanova: It was the year this page finally got updated.
Garibaldi: The year is 1997.
Sheridan: The drinking game: Babylon 5.
The Babylon 5 Drinking Game (version 4.0)
is finally online, though I keep getting this nasty feeling that it's going to disappear mere hours before I get to play it...
Warning: Spoilers STILL liberally strewn throughout. Then
again, odds are that anyone hardcore enough to find this page and
consider playing the game has probably seen the vast majority of the episodes.
Materials needed
Either a working and
connected TV showing a live episode of Babylon 5, or a working and
connected TV and VCR, and a videotape in the appropriate format of the
show. Preferred materials comprise a bunch of tapes with lots of
episodes; trying to watch new episodes while playing the game could
result in missing major plot information near the end of the
episode...
Something to drink, preferably
but not necessarily of alcoholic content, a container from which to
drink, and a ready source of refills.
How and when to drink:
- Sips are a quickie pull at your beverage, sort of like giving it a peck on the cheek; double and triple sips should be measured and consumed accordingly.
- Gulps are fairly large swallows, and double gulps should account for a substantial portion of your glass/can/barrel/whatever.
- Chugs equate to an order of "finish off your drink and get a new one."
- Finishing off the bottle is exactly what it implies; it is potentially
suicidal, but mercifully rare.
Rules (ultra-simplified version):
- when something very typical happens, sip.
- when something unusual happens, drink a larger amount-- the more unusual the event, the larger the amount.
- when in doubt, the simplest rule of all is: if you think you should be drinking, you should be drinking. =)
And now, for those of you brave enough, here are
The Rules (not so simplified version)
Characters:
- Sip whenever Bester uses his powers, intimidates or angers someone (double for non-command staff), becomes the target of an assault, disparages "mundanes/normals," or makes a smartass comment.
- Sip whenever Cartagia does or says something completely psycho.
- Sip whenever Corwin announces that something is on an attack vector (what ISN'T on an attack vector around here?), triple sip if he gets more than two lines in a five-minute period.
- Sip whenever Delenn
says "in Valens' name" or "there are beings in the universe," lies or
doesn't tell the whole truth, wears pants, has or talks about problems
relating to her human side, takes charge and/or acts as the cavalry,
seems romantically attracted to someone, or looks tortured or about to
cry. Double sip whenever she kisses Sheridan, chug if she kisses someone OTHER than Sheridan.
- Sip whenever Franklin talks about death, jacks a stim, mentions his Foundationist beliefs (double if he explains them in detail) or treats a patient (double if he makes a patient worse, chug if the patient dies).
- Sip whenever Garibaldi fires a weapon, looks around before saying a line, makes a Garibaldism, watches Duck Dodgers (chug
for any WB cartoon reference without Garibaldi present), has a scene
concerning food, breaks the law, bugs Franklin about his stim problem,
apprehends a criminal personally, acts suspiciously himself, or
outfoxes anyone (triple if it's one of the command staff!).
- Sip whenever G'Kar grimaces, says "my people/government/world/etc.," "thump," or "key," does something sneaky and underhanded (triple if it involves his neat eye trick), or acts as "St. G'Kar."
- Sip whenever Ivanova is blunt/rude/short with someone, wears sleepwear on camera (triple
if it's her birthday suit!) or talks about sleep, brings up being
Russian or Jewish, talks about her childhood or parents, acts as a
consultant/confidant, gets propositioned or innuendoed (triple if she has a positive reaction!), appears with Marcus on a White Star (double if Delenn and Sheridan are not on the ship) or makes an "Ivanovism."
- Sip whenever Keffer uncovers another piece of the Shadow puzzle or circumvents authority to do so. (Poor sacrificial lamb.)
- Sip whenever Kosh does something supernatural, says anything enigmatic (double whenever he says "Yes"), or pops up in Sheridan's head.
- Sip whenever Kosh II (The Sequel) acts like an @$$%*!&.
- Sip whenever Lennier
gets into his Minbari fighting stance, starts rambling on and gets
interrupted ("Thank you, Mr. Data"), uses euphemism to indicate he's
just beaten the stuffing out of someone(s) off camera, or discusses
anything Minbari-related.
- Sip whenever Londo
takes a drink, says "debauchery," "my good/dear friend," "go a-way," or
"great maker," does something sneaky and underhanded, propositions
someone, or is wracked by his conscience.
- Sip whenever Lorien aids Sheridan or talks about the First Ones. Take two sips whenever he refuses to interfere, talks about being The First One, or shows his true form.
- Sip whenever Lyta gets pissed off, shows signs of Vorlons/Shadows messing about with her (double if she shows signs that she ain't no pathetic little P5 weakling, triple if her eyes turn funky colors), or pauses inordinately before saying a line.
- Sip whenever Marcus
makes his thing get bigger ;-), talks about becoming or being a Ranger,
displays impressive knowledge about alien cultures, makes a
"Marcusism," or attempts to BS his way out of a situation rather than
fighting (triple if he's successful).
- Sip whenever Morden
smiles, gets advised by his invisible Shadow companions, arranges
for/oversees an assassination, acts suave and/or psychotic, or says
"associates" or "What do you want?"
- Sip whenever Sheridan becomes the target of an assassination attempt or a smear campaign, kisses Delenn (triple if he kisses anyone else), makes a difficult or earthshattering decision or announcement, mentions his father or his wife (double when he actually talks to his father or his wife, or for that matter, Kosh), or says "hell."
- Sip whenever Sinclair
becomes the target of an assassination attempt or a smear campaign,
makes a difficult or earthshattering decision or announcement, or says
anything with a trace of emotion.
- Sip whenever Talia
acts coy or seems about to cry, talks about the hardships of being a
telepath, or suffers somehow from her powers or the use thereof.
- Sip whenever Vir acts with either extreme backbone or lack thereof (double
when he does both at once), acts as Londo's conscience or pulls Londo's
butt out of the fire, says or does anything that makes you want to call
him "Flounder," or tells Morden he wants him dead.
- Sip whenever Zack questions which side he should be on (triple
when he switches sides), complains about not knowing anything or his
uniform, refers to Garibaldi as "The Chief," or throws his weight
around.
- Sip whenever Zathras says something Zathrassy (chug if he says something unZathrassy), cowers, or makes a slip of the tongue.
- Sip whenever a major character gets pissed off to the point of making a speech about it.
- Double sip whenever a major character gets pissed off to the point of violence.
- Finish off the bottle whenever a major character dies.
- Sip whenever any of the command staff appears out of their usual uniform (double if they're in Starfury togs, triple if they're wearing that funky riot gear).
Racial/Affinity Drinks:
- Sip whenever any nonhuman comments on the curious customs/behavior of humans.
- Double gulp whenever contact is made with a new race.
- Double sip whenever an alien actually speaks in an alien language, triple whenever anyone speaks a language that is not their own.
- Sip whenever anyone says "homeworld."
- Sip whenever a Vorlon speaks (double if it says "good," chug if it says something coherent or a complete sentence), or is seen out of its suit (chug if it's in its true form).
- Double sip whenever a Vorlon appears away from Babylon 5.
- Sip whenever a Centauri does a flying roundhouse kick.
- Gulp whenever anyone discusses Centauri, *cough*, anatomy.
- Sip whenever you hear a Shadow creature, triple whenever you see a Shadow creature.
- Double sip whenever a Shadow ship "screams."
- Sip whenever you see the Nightwatch
symbol on something other than the armbands, you see a Nightwatch
member skulking about in the background, someone says "Minipax"
(Minipax. Minipax. Minipax. That's such a neat word), someone calls a
Nightwatch meeting, or the B5 command staff use outside help (Rangers,
Minbari, Draal/Great Machine, etc.) to circumvent Night Watch and the
Political Office.
- Double sip whenever a major character's loyalty is questioned by Nightwatch (triple if it is to that character's face or in his/her presence).
- Triple sip every time the insinuation is made toward a major character that not joining Night Watch could jeopardize his/her career.
- Double sip whenever someone uses telepathy, triple whenever you see a Psi Corps member other than Lyta, Bester, or Talia.
- Gulp whenever a telepath mentions "the voices."
- Double sip whenever you see a ranger other than Marcus or Ranger One, gulp whenever you see a ranger other than Marcus during the third season.
Fights! (double all drinks for fights in hyperspace.)
- Sip whenever you hear the distinctive whine of a PPG being powered up
- Sip whenever a brawl erupts (double if it's in the Zocolo or if a Pak'mara gets caught in it).
- Sip whenever whenever any small fighter is destroyed (double if it's a Starfury,triple if it's a Starfury and the pilot ejects before the ship buys it, and gulp if we knew the pilot of the late ship).
- Triple sip whenever any large cruiser (Narn Cruiser, EA Destroyer, Battlecrab, etc.) is destroyed.
- Gulp whenever any space station *hint hint* is destroyed in flashback/foreshadowing.
- Double gulp whenever any space station is destroyed for real (finish off the bottle if it's B5).
- Double sip whenever they close the blast window in C&C.
- Gulp for tear-jerking "battle aftermath" shots/scenes.
Etc.
- Sip whenever a jumpgate is activated.
- Double sip whenever a (gateless) jump point appears.
- Sip whenever someone lights a candle.
- Sip whenever someone watches ISN.
- Double sip whenever someone has a vision of the future.
- Double sip whenever someone has a flashback (triple if it's to the earth-minbari war).
- Sip whenever someone refers to Epsilon 3, the machine, or Draal.
- Double sip whenever someone mentions Mars or the Free Mars movement (finish off the bottle if we find out that the head of the Free Mars movement is named Marvin).
- Double sip whenever someone repeats the end of a line ("So cold... so cold").
- Sip for historical reference, double if it's to Earth's late 20th century, triple if it's to the history of a planet other than Earth.
- Sip for gratuitous CGI shots (have fun with those first season eps!).
- Sip for gratuitous philosophizing.
- Sip for gratuitous overacting/overdelivery, double for bad delivery from a major character. (WARNING: you may want to skip this rule for first season...) ;-)
- Sip for gratuitous slow-motion or cheezy music, triple sip for both at once.
- Gulp for JMS hints and giveaways.
- Sip for Comlink segues and interruptions (Segues and Interruptions-- title for an episode, JMS?). ;-)
- Gulp for any shot that gets used in
the credits (if you're picky or watching an episode with a lot of stock
footage [AIIEEE!!! DEFENSE GRID!], just drinking for shots from that
season's credits is fine).
- Cheer wildly and chug for every
insider/internet reference (e.g., the "Netter's Syndrome" that Lennier
uses to get a drunkard away from him, the Hyperion, the Round Table
discussion, etc.).
- Sip (and cheer, or even kowtow if you're that reverent) every time JMS' name appears onscreen.
- Sip every time the episode's teaser includes a scene from downbelow or a fight, triple sip for both at once.
- Double sip and boo if the teaser contains a major spoiler.
- Sip whenever a data crystal is
visually examined, as if the holder might read it visually, or
triumphantly tossed from one hand to another, or generally given more
respect/reverence than is due to a glorified floppy disk.
Please direct all questions, comments, and suggestions (especially for new rules) to emerald@dartmouth.edu. Last updated on 3rd March 1997. Babylon 5 and all associated names are copyrighted by Warner Brothers.
C&C
Quarters
Jumpgate
Zocolo
The Bar
